It was bound to happen.

Warning: spoiler alert. If you haven't read the Twilight series, and if you want to read it, and if you care about not having the ending spoiled, then stop reading now.

I mean it. Stop. Resist the urge, no matter how witty and droll you know I'm going to be. (ha)

And yes, I did just look up droll on dictionary.com to confirm my usage of it.


Anyway -

Shortly after Gabe was born, I started re-reading the Twilight series while I pumped breastmilk to distract myself from feeling oddly akin to a dairy cow.

I just finished reading Breaking Dawn, and so it was bound to happen that between the fresh memory of the little vampire spawn that grew at an accelerated rate, and my new parent of-course-my-child-is-brilliant-and-advanced-why-wouldn't-he-be mentality, I had this dream last night:

We were at a park, and I was in the restroom washing my hands before fixing lunch. I had Gabe with me and was chatting it up with him in the way that I've found I often do now (side note - having a baby was the best thing I could ever do for covering up my tendency to talk to myself...now I just address the comments to Gabe and instead of looking like 'that crazy lady talking to herself', I just look like 'that crazy lady talking to her baby like he can actually understand her' - brilliant!).

So in the dream I say to Gabe: "...and we wouldn't want to have dirty hands now, would we?"

And Gabe sassily answers back: "I would."

I distinctly remember my dream self taking a half second to shove aside the thought that I needed to capitalize on this teaching moment and discuss with Gabe why wanting dirty hands is not appropriate. After that, I ran outside with Gabe in my arms yelling "He talked! He talked!" I ran up to Bret and, talking fast and out of breath, told him what happened and then tried to get Gabe to talk again all the while thinking "No! You can't let him know that you want him to talk again, because then he won't do it!" (which I'm pretty sure comes from Gabe rolling over on New Year's Eve but then refusing to demonstrate this skill on demand ever since). And the last part of the dream I remember is both Bret and Gabe looking at me in total confusion because I was talking so fast I wasn't making sense, and feeling really frustrated that they couldn't just read my mind.

Gotta love your subconscious.