There have been a few times...

...since Gabe showed up that I have had somewhat surreal realizations of my motherhood.  Moments when I find myself in a reality that seems both strange and completely normal at the same time.

For example:  the first time I took Gabe into a store by myself when he was a few weeks old.  From the outside I'm sure it just looked like a woman taking her baby out of the car and into the store.  But on the inside, I felt a bit like a little girl playing mommy with her doll.  I felt like I had a big sign over my head flashing in neon "Rookie!"  I must've checked a half dozen times to make sure I had the pacifier, a burp rag (make that two burp rags in case of emergency), a diaper (make that two diapers in case of emergency), baby wipes, an extra outfit, changing pad, blanket...I think I put pretty much the entire contents of the diaper bag into my purse.  Would've just been easier to put my wallet into the diaper bag!  I worried that I would trip and drop Gabe.  I wondered what I'd do if he started screaming in the middle of the store and I couldn't calm him down.  Up until then, Bret and I had gone out together with Gabe, so I figured that if he was inconsolable, at least I had a buddy to share my public embarassment.  But the first time alone in public with Gabe, I felt self-conscious and suddenly very aware that I was a mother.  And even if I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing, others would look at me and assume I did.

Another example:  the first few times someone asked me about Gabe's preferences.  As in:  "Does Gabe like tummy time?" or "Does Gabe like having his diaper changed?"  I had experienced his reactions first hand (see previous posts regarding tummy time and Gabe's thoughts thereon) but when someone asked me about his preferences, it was a reminder that I was being asked because they assumed that as his mother, I would know these things.  What I felt like saying was:  "<shrug> I don't really know, I just met him too."

Well yesterday I had another of these surreal moments.  I had decided to wash Gabe's stuffed elephant, Mr. Oly Font, because he smelled like spit.  Nice.  So into the washer goes Oly, and out comes puffy stuffing all over every piece of clothing in the load and Oly with a leg injury:

And my first thought is:  "Oh I'll just sew that up." 

And then my next thought is "I'm totally a real mom right now!  I'm gonna perform my first surgery on my kid's stuffed animal!  That's such a mom thing to do!"

This excitement wore off a little as I spent the next 10 minutes cleaning up the stuffing stuck to the clothes in the load so it wouldn't clog the dryer vent.

But still!  I'm very excited about this rite of passage of being a Stuffed Animal Nurse (with apologies to Oly for the sacrifice he had to make to get me here).

Made My Day

Check this out - just made my day!

Cruise People

Have I mentioned that my parents are Cruise People?

In 2003, my parents and Aunt & Uncle took my Grandma on a cruise through the Panama Canal.  She'd been wanting to do it for years but had never planned it, and when she started to show signs of Alzheimer's, my dad decided that they should just take the bull by the horns and plan the trip so she'd really go. 

Departing for their first cruise...love my Gram's pink velour tracksuit!

The start of an era.

This picture makes me miss my Gram. (sorry Laura, it doesn't really make me miss you, because I just saw you...but I think your hair is cute)

Well the Panama Canal turned my parents into Cruise People. 

I think they've gone on something like 10 cruises now, and they're about to go on their 11th.  Or their 20th.  Who can keep track?  (I'm not worried about being too accurate on this because I'm pretty sure my mom will include the correct number in a comment when she reads this post.)

Last fall, Mom called during their cruise to...Mexico?  Hawaii?  Who can keep track?...and was telling Laura and I how she'd gotten called up on stage again during an evening show by a ventriloquist.  That's right, I said "again".  You see, my mom is a volunteer-er.  Always up for a good time or adventure, and willing to help out a ventriloquist in need of a dummy. 

Haha.  Sorry Mom.  You know I love you.  You're the best mom ever.  And actually, I would be doing both of us a disservice if I didn't take the intelligence and wit you imparted to me and use it to make a pun about ventriloquists and dummies.  (have I dug myself out of the hole yet?  c'mon, i thought that last thing about doing both of us a disservice was pretty clever!)

So after we talked to Mom, we decided to have t-shirts made for Mom & Dad's next cruise.  For Mom, an eye-catching pink shirt to aid her volunteer efforts.  And for Dad, a black shirt with gray embroidered lettering to express his slightly more reserved outlook.

Playing their roles for the camera

I'll leave you with this:  a picture I found of Mom on their cruise to Tahiti in 2005.

Mom's the one in the middle.

Haha. Sorry Mom. You know I love you. You're the best mom ever. And actually, I would be doing both of us a disservice if I didn't take the observational skills and wit you imparted to me and use it to make a joke about telling you apart from fruit animals. (what?  that one doesn't work a second time?  dang.  actually, I love this picture of you, Mom.  I think it completely exhibits your sense of humor and love for fun, and I can totally picture you exclaiming over each fruit animal and the creativity of how they were made.  Love you!)