The Pros call it "Table Tennis"

Bret and I have been talking about getting a ping pong table for several years, but the conversation has never seriously gone anywhere because of space constraints.  This last weekend, though, I think the onset of the winter doldrums got to Bret because on Sunday around noon, he says to me:  "I want a ping pong table."

So I say my usual:  "You're willing to give up the other half of your garage for this?"  (one half is already taken up by a trailer)

But this time he responded with a simple, unequivocal:  "Yep!"

So I said:  "Ok, get on craigslist and let's see what's out there."

8 minutes later we'd emailed in response to an ad for a free table.

A mere 9 1/2 hours later we were back at home with our new FREE* ping pong table!

Isn't craigslist grand?


It was too late to play on Sunday night when we got home, so last night we bundled up the kids and headed out to the garage after dinner.  We set Abby up in her swing in front of a heater and Gabe ran around us playing with his dinosaur set and generally trying to get underfoot.

So far we are tied at 2 games a piece.  We're pretty well matched - at least when Bret's not trying to perfect his slam/spike move on me.  He says he needs to practice so that he can beat his dad & brother next time they're over...they grew up with a ping pong table and apparently there are some old rivalries just waiting to be resurrected.  My family also had a table when I was a teenager, and I remember Dad & Paul playing a few epic games that included big slam/spike moves.  Whenever either of them would do that in a game with me I would get SO mad and whine "I don't want to play if you're going to play like that!".  It should be noted that I have already whined this to Bret at least twice.

Abby was all smiles for about 5 minutes, then fell asleep. 
Apparently we did not play games interesting enough for
her to stay awake for!



Gabe emptied the contents of his dinosaur box and kept us extra nimble as we tried not to trip over him.



Yes, these are pictures of us with our ping pong table.

What?  Is that strange?

*In the interest of full disclosure I will share that the table was located in Olympia, 2 hours away from our house, so there was an extra tank of gas required...however - since we all went to pick it up together, it's really just like we went on a Sunday drive and came back with a ping pong table!

Two

Hard to believe that Gabe turned two today.  So cliche, but really, where does the time go?  I remember so much of the day I had him so clearly...and now he's so grown up and he both frustrates and delights me daily.  I suppose I will always feel like time has moved in impossible leaps and bounds when it comes to the kids.

We celebrated with family on Sunday and the biggest hit out of all of his presents was the soft football I picked up for $1 at Target.  Of course! 

He even blew out the candle on his cake by himself!

We sure do you love you, Gabe!

One Month

My my how the time does fly!  Abby has been here for a month already so I decided it was time to get serious about doing a blog post since all attempts up until this point have been thwarted.  

This post promises to be all sorts of random and disjointed but I'm more interested in actually getting this written than it making a whole lot of sense so here goes:

Getting induced took longer than I hoped it would.  It took a while to get things going, though it was cool because I didn't really feel contractions or discomfort until I was at 6 centimeters.  From the time I had to concentrate on breathing through a contraction until Abby was born was only 2 1/2 hours.  My description of my childbirth experience with Gabe was that "natural childbirth chose me, rather than me really choosing it", because of how fast things went.  This time around with Abby, I wanted the opportunity to choose to go natural.  I definitely chose it, but I sure didn't fully remember how much childbirth hurts.  Wow.

Anyway - Abigail Anne was born at 8:28 pm on August 30.  These are some pictures taken by a photographer that's contracted w/the hospital to do newborn photos.  Abby is about 16 hours old in these pictures.

Abby was born weighing 7 lbs 10 oz - almost 2 pounds heavier than Gabe's birth weight of 5 lbs 14 oz.  I was looking back through Gabe's growth chart and he weighed 7 lbs 10 oz when he was a month old.  Crazy.

Abby prefers to be held, and usually me holding her gets the fastest calming results.  This makes getting anything else done quite a challenge.  I don't remember Gabe needing/wanting to be held as much, but then again both Bret and I were home for the first several months to share parenting duties whereas this time around Bret's back at work sooner and so I'm with a toddler and an infant on my own.  For the first few weeks, I thought "holy cow how do people DO this with more than one kid??" at least a hundred times a day.  My brother and sister-in-law have 4 kids that are a total of 4 1/2 years apart in age.  Yeesh!  So if ever I need a reality check, I think of Mandy when her kids were 4 1/2, 2 1/2, 1 1/2, and a newborn, and suddenly my two kids don't seem quite so overwhelming!

It also occurred to me a few days ago that Abby's wanting to be held will be something that in the future just becomes part of her story.  We will talk about how I slept sitting up holding her for the first couple of weeks, and how even after that she slept better when she was sleeping next to me than in her playpen.  When she sleeps alone she is LOUD...wheezing (the doctor says her lungs are crystal clear but she must have nose congestion because she wheezes and snuffles constantly) and squeaking and loudly sucking on her pacifier...but when she is next to me she doesn't even wheeze most of the time.  So, I think she goes into a deeper sleep when she's snuggled.  Anyway - it was sort of a cool realization about this being part of her story and it helped me think of it in a new way instead of just being frustrated about all the things I feel like I can't get done because my arms are full of baby.  Bret and I have talked about how with Gabe, we didn't know what to expect so his development just came as it happened (if that makes sense).  Now we know how much more fun kids get as they grow up, so we feel antsy to get past this infant stage.  I feel bad because I really don't want to rush past this time since I know I will be so nostalgic for it later.

Speaking of which, she is asleep on my chest as I write this and she's starting to stir and will want to eat soon, so I will leave you with a few more pictures:

Taken just a couple of days ago.

Watching cartoons with Daddy.



Abby has a blonde patch of hair on the left side of her head.  I consider it "my" patch of DNA.





Reading "I Love You, Daddy" before bed.



From Bret's Childhood...

Last Spring we got a random message on our voicemail:  someone from near Eatonville (2 hrs away from us) had a child's rocking chair that she was wondering if belonged to Bret and if he wanted it back.  I listened to the message and then said something to Bret along the lines of "some lady just left us a message saying she has a rocking chair with your name on the bottom of it, how weird is that?" and Bret responded with "oh yeah, I remember that chair". 

HUH??

Turns out that Bret had the little rocking chair from when he was a kid, but then his family had a house fire and moved and the chair turned into one of those "what ever happened to that?" items.

So I called the lady back and said yes, she had the right person and yes, we'd love to have the chair!  She didn't remember how she'd gotten it, but there's a plaque glued to the bottom with Bret's name on it and she'd been looking in the yellow pages and online trying to find the right person to give it back to.  Pretty cool of her!

...this is the part of the story where time passes...and I think I lose the lady's phone number but then I find it, pretty much exactly where I thought I'd put it but under some other stuff...and we call the lady back and it's no problem, the chair is right where she had it before, just waiting for us to come get it whenever we have time...only at this point a year has gone by and we decide that we should just make the drive to go get the chair rather than wait until we're "in the area", because obviously we are never just going to be conveniently passing by...

So now we have the chair and it's pretty beat up but I love that it's something from Bret's childhood that we have now for our kids.  And even better - there is a long history associated with this chair.  The plaque on the bottom says:

"This chair originally given to Margaret Murphy Countryman by her family (1877-1955).  Subsequently by Gertrude Murphy List to Geraldine List Adams.  In August of 1975, given to Bret Totten, a great great nephew of Mrs. Countryman."

Geraldine Adams is Bret's maternal grandmother.  Such a fun piece of history to have back in our family...I think it's so cool that the Eatonville woman held on to this chair and kept trying to find out who it belonged to!

Gabe in Daddy's chair

Mom, Part II

Yes, this post is a day after Mother's Day.  But last year, my mom didn't read my Mother's Day post until the day after, so my timing this year is just another way to honor her*.

Now that Gabe is almost 19 months old, my understanding of motherhood has increased to a whopping 1.98%**.  In fact, I think I can actually round it to 2% since I'm pregnant, and have that added understanding!  With this dramatic increase of knowledge (last year my understanding was only calculating to .7%) comes some new thank you's for my mom:

Thank you for every minute of sleep you gave up for me after I started sleeping through the night but then would randomly wake up and it was even harder for you to get up because you were out of practice since I wasn't a newborn anymore.  Thank you for every step you helped me take and for the steps you let me take on my own while you held your breath, worried I would fall but knowing that you needed to let me try on my own.  Thank you for your patience when I wouldn't eat my vegetables, liked something one day but not the next, and threw food/cups/spoons/bowls on the floor again and again and again.  Thank you for every time I'm sure you wanted to yell "STOP THROWING YOUR FOOD ON THE FLOOR" and instead calmly said "Don't throw your food, please".  Thank you for every time you pushed through pregnancy-induced tiredness or discomfort to pay attention to what I needed from you.  Thank you for taking me outside and making a simple walk into a great adventure.  Thank you for always giving me hugs and cuddles.  Thank you for every simple task you wanted to get done that turned into a lengthy one because you let me be independent and walk instead of carrying me, or do something myself instead of doing it for me.  Thank you for reading with me and helping me learn words.  Thank you for praising my accomplishments and providing correction when I needed to learn boundaries.  Thank you for enduring my "terrible twos" with grace, love, patience, and keeping in mind the joy that remains even when a toddler is constantly testing limits.

Mom, thank you as always for watching Gabe for us.  I hope I say it enough so that you know how much it means to us - not just because it's a huge financial blessing, but because it's an incredible feeling of relief to be able to so completely trust the person caring for your child.  And I hope you also know that I'm not just saying that in an effort to butter you up so that you'll keep watching Gabe and Baby #2 in the future (even though I've never kept that desire a secret - remember what I always say, it's only 6 years of your life!  And just think of how boring it would be if you only got to do your own thing every day, instead of having to chase a toddler around!)...for as long as it works out, we are ever grateful for the gift of your time and energy in caring for our child(ren).****

Happy Mother's Day Mom, I love you!

* ok, so that's a total line of bull.  I just didn't sit myself down at my computer yesterday to write this post.
** Assuming my lifespan is 75 years, and I had Gabe at 35 years old, I will have 40 years alive with Gabe (hopefully more, but I'm explaining my math in this asterisk footnote, so let's not get off track).  That's 480 months, and if we assume the average of 2 kids per person that has kids, that's 960 months***.  19 months out of 960 total months is 1.98%
*** Understood that evenly doubling the months isn't accurate, since that assumes that the 2 kids are born at the same time.
**** Was it presumptious to throw the plural in there?  Hmm...

2010 Photo Book

I'm going through my pictures from the last couple of months and playing catch up with blog posts.  So far I've got 4 blog posts in draft status...we'll see how long it takes me to actually get them published!

Mandy had the idea last Christmas to put together a photo book for my parents & grandparents as a Christmas gift.  She asked me, Laura & Christina to contribute pictures we'd taken from the year, and Christina was even able to get pictures of Mom's off of her laptop without her knowing so that the gift could be kept a surprise. 

Mandy worked many hours to put together the book and it turned out SO great!!  She shipped it to Mom & Dad with a "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE" note on it, and we figured out a way for me and Christina to both just happen to end up at Mom & Dad's house for dinner one night, where we planned to have them open the Photo Book with all of us there to see it together for the first time.  The surprise worked out perfectly because after dinner, Laura and Christina were talking about old Tim Noah songs & videos and Laura found some on YouTube that they were watching.  One had a ringing phone in it, which completely disguised the Skype ringer of Mandy calling.  Brilliant, Laura! 

Mandy did such an awesome job on the book - she'd asked us for pictures and memories from the year, so the book is a fun walk down 2010's memory lane.

Our "seeing the 2010 book" picture, complete with Paul & Mandy on Skype and Mom holding the book...we thought it'd be fun to have this in the 2011 book!

Mandy's hope is to do a book every year - hooray for us!!

41 Weeks and 5 Days

...is how long I was pregnant with Gabe, and is how old Gabe is today.

And even though:

- it was much easier to carry him around in my belly than it is to carry him around in my arms (those kangaroos really have a great thing going),

- I got a lot more sleep when I was pregnant than I have since he arrived,

- the most annoying thing he did in utero was press on my bladder (oh yeah, and refuse to come out near his due date) and now he's discovered whining as a means to an end,

I would much much much rather have him ex-utero than in.

Mom

When Gabe was around 2 months old, I spent a very long night trying to get him to settle down and give in to sleep.  We had moved him into his crib in his bedroom at 6 weeks old, so comforting his middle of the night fussiness now meant groggily walking down the hall instead of taking two steps to the playpen from my side of the bed.

On this particular very long night, I remember 5 or 6 instances of hearing him fuss, immediately getting up, going in to pat him or give him his pacifier, him quieting down, me going back to bed, laying there for a few minutes trying to relax back in to sleep and thinking "He's still quiet, this 3rd (4th...5th...6th...) time might be the charm", and then he'd start fussing again and I'd repeat the pattern.

After the 5th or 6th time, I had an epiphany.

I got it.  I mean, I got it.  Really GOT it.  For a brief moment I saw backwards and forwards in time and I truly, deeply, profoundly understood.  And consider this:  at that point, I had only had my baby for 2 months.  So in the grand scheme of things, if we make a couple assumptions (admittedly, they're pretty sweeping assumptions, but go with me on this) and say that on average, a person's lifespan is 75 years, and on average, a person that has kids has 2 of them, then my epiphany was only really a .2%* understanding.  A .2% understanding!  That's less than half a percent!  It's less than a third of a percent!  So what I'm trying to get across here is that I had what felt like a HUGE moment of clarity, and really it was based on a very small amount of experience, so imagine what that clarity is like for parents that have watched their kids grow up, and have had more than 2 kids!!

So after all that, what was my big "A-HA!!!!" you ask?  Well rest assured, I haven't brought you this far into this post to desert you now.

I realized that no matter how exhausted, weary, rundown (and every other synonym you can think of for tired) I might feel, and no matter how frustrated, exasperated, flummoxed and confused at how to help my baby relax and sleep I might be, I would keep trying, keep getting up, keep comforting, keep nurturing that baby...because that's what being his mom means.  And in that moment I understood that this is what my mom felt for me.  This is what my mom did for me.  This is what my mom does for me.

I love my mom.  And I tell her that.  And I thank her for stuff.  And I've been telling her I love you and telling her thank you for various things for years.  But I didn't get the enormity of what what her motherhood has entailed until that moment.  And I only understood .2% of it.

The moments after the big moment were spent welling up in tears.  Lying there, waiting to see if Gabe would fuss again, a million examples of her sacrifice and giving came into my head; crashing like waves one after another, each one not able to be a fully formed thought before the next one rushed in.

Gabe is now almost 7 months old, which means I now have a .7% understanding****.

So Mom, I want to thank you for a little of that .7% that I've got experience with. 

Thank you for every minute of sleep you gave up for me.  Thank you for every meal you didn't eat or didn't get to eat until you were WAY past hungry because you were making sure I got fed.  Thank you for every hug, every kiss, every cuddle.  Thank you for every minute of alone time with Dad you gave up so that we could have family time.  Thank you for enduring splashfests during bathtime.  Thank you for cherishing my smiles.  Thank you for singing to me.  Thank you for reading to me.  Thank you for keeping me safe.  Thank you for finding delight in my giggles and laughter.  Thank you for being in awe of the Miracle of Life.  Because of your reverence, I truly believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Thank you for being excited and encouraging when I could first hold a spoon, hold a cup, reach for a toy...thank you for challenging my growth and expanding my horizons by putting that toy a little further away, and thank you for cheering my accomplishment when I determined to get that toy and succeeded.  Thank you for having a sense of wonder and discovery and truly finding joy in trying to see the world through a baby's eyes.

Mom, thank you for caring for my son.  Thank you for the privilege of getting to see, as an adult, some of how you likely interacted with me when I was a baby.  The joy and delight you take in watching Gabe grow and learn; the way you talk to him; the way you play with him...I see it with an adult perspective and the child in me feels cherished and treasured.

I am so very lucky, so very blessed, so very honored to have you as my mother.

Circa 1975

*Assuming my lifespan is 75 years, and I had Gabe at 35 yrs old, I will have 40 years alive with Gabe (hopefully more, but I'm explaining my math in this asterisk footnote, so let's not get off track).  That's 480 months, and if we assume the average of 2 kids per person that has kids, that's 960 months**.  2 months out of 960 total months is .2%

** I get that evenly doubling the months isn't completely accurate, because doubling it assumes that the 2 kids are born at the same time.  How about you stop being so picky and just work with me, here?***

***Forgive the sarcasm...it's just that I'm tired of writing these explanatory footnotes and I want to go back to writing the post, so I'm a bit cranky.

****See*

Journey

Nope, not a journey that I've been on or am embarking on. I mean THE Journey. You know, 80's power rock? That's the one.

Gabe likes Journey. I think (know) I am to thank (blame) for this. When he was a few weeks old and having a crying spell, I reached into the recesses of my mind for a song to soothe him and out came "Faithfully" by Journey.

That's right. Given the infinite number of song choices available, I chose...Journey.

It's just that Journey songs are so singable.

I don't recall which one of my sisters (or me?) is the originator, but years ago we started belting out Journey tunes in the car. There's nothing quite like a sister (or two), a turned-up stereo, an understanding that there will be sharing of air guitar solos, and singing at the top of your lungs.

After a recent fussy-Gabe-Journey-singing event, I've had a few of their songs stuck in my head. And, I was reminded of this:

Awhile ago Laura was over and showed me a remake of the Separate Ways video that someone had put on YouTube. I had no idea that people actually did this. But in trying to find it again today, I came across A LOT of videos people have done. It blows my mind.

Do you have 9 minutes and 5 seconds? I know it sounds like a big investment of time to spend on Journey, but I promise you, it's worth it. First you have to watch the original video by Journey, and then the remake. I am willing* to bet big money that you smile at least once, and I'm actually pretty confident you will smile quite a bit, laugh/guffaw out loud a handful of times, and possibly even make a snorting/choking sound. I wish I was there to hear it.

Enjoy the Journey!





*Please note that I said I am "willing" to bet. My conscience will not let me actually wager on responses to Journey videos.**

**Paul, the employment of asterisks is for you.***

***I like it so much that I feel like I might start doing it a lot in blog posts.****

****It's possible you've created a monster.

One Year Ago Today...

We found out we were pregnant with Gabriel.



What a wonderful year it's been!

Shout out

A few weeks ago Jane said "you should give me a shout out on your blog".

Because of course, my blog is almost exactly the same thing as being in the audience of TRL with Carson Daly and being given the opportunity to say hi to your friends back at home. Yeah, pretty much exactly like that. (Is TRL even still on MTV? Or is MTV just all about the reality shows these days?)

So Jane, because Sunday is your 36th birthday, here is your shout out.
*********************

I have known Jane for 30 years. We were in Mrs. Johnson's first grade class together. Mrs. Johnson was British and would say "bloody" a lot. As in: "pick up your bloody books!" and "you kids are bloody loud!" One time, we were playing on the big concrete tunnel at the far end of the playground and didn't hear the bell, so when we finally realized that the playground was empty we went back in to class, and we were sure that Mrs. Johnson would yell at us. But she didn't.

Not a very exciting story, sorry.

Jill was also in first grade with Jane and me, and Jill and I used to fight over who got to sit with Jane at lunch. I thought I had a picture of Jane from the first grade but I can't find it.

However, I did find these:

Pictures of my 10th birthday party. Jane is the one peeking slyly out from behind the arm of the couch in the first picture and peeking slyly at my mom on the left side of the second picture. Apparently, peeking slyly was Jane's shtick at my 10th birthday party. [side note: that's mint chocolate chip ice cream my mom is scooping...my favorite type, which she made with my grandma's ice cream maker. my mom is so cool.]

Jane had two (TWO!!) cabbage patch kid dolls and would generously let me play with one when I came over. I remember one was named Ollie. Also, Jane's room had funky wallpaper that looked like yellow, green, pink and white quilt squares. Jane has two older sisters so we were able to raid their Sweet Dreams romance books. I think the one we always talked about was "P.S. I Love You" about a 15 year old girl that falls in love (true love, of course) one summer. Of course, now that I think about it, most of the books were about 15 year old girls that fall in love (true love, of course) over a summer.

In the sixth grade I invited Jane to come with my family on a vacation to Crescent Bar.

Hmm. I guess the peeking slyly thing lasted through sixth grade, too. [side note: the baby backside in the terry cloth summerwear is my sister Laura's.]

In the 7th grade, we went Christmas shopping and decided to get our picture taken with Santa.

Looks like peeking slyly was handed off to Santa that year.

Later in the seventh grade, during a sleepover night, Jane and I decided to venture out into the cold and dressed appropriately for the weather in my dad's coats.
I don't really know when it started, but Jane would/does talk in funny voices and ALWAYS made/makes me laugh.

In junior high I had a crush on Josh Smith. Jane was in a class with him and he corrected her paper (you know how teachers would do the 'hand your paper to the person behind you for correction' thing). Jane ripped the corner out of her paper where he'd written "corrected by Josh Smith" and gave it to me. Now that's a good friend. Of course, Jane also - to this day - makes fun of me for wearing my girl scout uniform to school in the sixth grade, when I TOTALLY didn't, because I wasn't in girl scouts past the fourth grade...but that's not the point of this post.

In the 9th grade, we were all sad the last day of school because half the kids were going to a different high school.
[right about now I'm guessing that Jane is thinking of the old adage "be careful what you wish for" as she reads this shout out post]

Jane and I went to the same high school, but hardly had any classes together. Sophomore year we had Band together, where she met Bon - but I'm getting ahead of myself. Senior year we had Health together. Even though Jane and I didn't have a lot of contact at school and spent much of our time with different groups of friends, I always appreciated that we could pick up easily where we left off.

Right after I turned 19, a group of us went up to Canada to go dancing (ok, let's be honest...we went up to Canada because the drinking age there was 19, and we thought we were being sooooo rebellious!).
After graduating from college, Jane and I got an apartment together. It had a vaulted ceiling in the living room and the first Christmas we decided to go to a u-cut farm and get a really tall tree. Little did we know that really tall trees are correspondingly really expensive. I think it was around $70. For a Christmas tree! A tree that you cut down and then spend three weeks vacuuming up after!

Anyway, this is a picture of us getting in to the spirit of cutting our own tree:
I think we must have just seen Austin Powers, thus the explanation for the pose.

As previously mentioned Jane met Bon in highschool and they began dating. But not until after Jane went to Homecoming our Sophomore year with Jim, who wore green and navy plaid pants. That really has nothing to do with anything, I just wanted to remember Jim's plaid pants for a minute because it makes me smile.

I think this is Jane & Bon's engagement picture.

I have no idea why this picture makes me want to laugh out loud. Is it the oh-so-casually posed arm Bon has around Jane? Is it the "hey, let's try a senior portrait pose for this picture" feel of the shot? I have no idea. But, the only engagement photos Bret and I have are taken by my mom in my parent's kitchen with her cupboards in the background. So I probably shouldn't give in to the out loud laughter when I look at this picture.

Jane asked me to be the Maid of Honor for her St Patrick's Day/2001: A Space Odyssey wedding. It was definitely an honor! These are pictures from her bachelorette party:
I got her practical underwear.

And a not so practical nightgown. [side note: that must be the guy who Santa passed on the peeking slyly gig to.]

Jane ended the evening with solo karaoke. I think a few margaritas may have contributed to the occasion.

This is a picture from Jane's wedding day:
I doubt we had just seen Austin Powers before her wedding so I really don't know what our excuse was for this pose. [side note: would you look at the size of my arms?? and worse, compare them to Jane's arms??]

Bon's into photography and took wonderful pictures at our wedding! This is one of my top 5 favorite pictures from the whole day:

After we had Gabe, Jane offered up Bon's photography talents for baby pics. We met at my parent's house and had a REAL photo shoot: big camera, light umbrella flash thingies, and all!

This is Jane with her adorable young 'uns, Jack and Emma (and of course, Gabe...because you can never have too many pictures of Gabriel, I always say).

Bon got awesome pictures of Gabe - here's a link to his blog: http://regalaphotography.bigfolioblog.com/

These are a couple of my favorites:


I think I will soon be making the above picture the new header art of this blog. But I digress (as I often do when I get started looking at pictures of my kid!).

As a summary of my shout out to Jane, I will recite a poem I wrote many many moons ago:

Fishies swim, birdies fly

Janey's weird and so am I.

Happy Birthday, Jane!