Dear Children

I just wanted to let you know that you both don't actually need to have poopy diapers twice a day for me to be aware that your bowels are in good working order.  I would be fine with once a day.

Gosh, I would even be okay with once every other day.

Just rest assured that I am in no way worried about either of your bowels, so you don't need to keep proving to me multiple times every day that you're processing food efficiently.  I've gotten the message.

Love,

Your Mother

The adorable reasons we are going through babywipes at an alarming rate.